I’ve been quiet, many people have begun to worry because when I’m this quiet for this long they know I’m getting ready to explode. And yes, I do want to. This time, though, I’m trying to keep a lid on the things I want to scream about. Will my anger help anyone this time? IDK… but I do know once I let it out, I can move on and work on the next step to finding the answers to the issues that I’ve been letting germinate this time.
Fair warning here: this post is going to be rather unstructured and rambling. I have a lot I want to say, a few different subjects that maybe should be divided into their own posts, but they all fit together in the end. I’m covering them all here …in one place, so there is no confusion as to the reason behind the subject I see as a problem.
Just for clarification, because I’ve been accused of Christian Bashing, I want to make it perfectly clear, the things that follow only apply to those who use their christianity as a blanket to hide under when they are screaming about an abomination to God. No one and I mean NO ONE has the right or authority to think they speak for God … any God. If you truly walk the walk and live your life as you honestly believe Christ may have when (if) he walked this earth, this post has nothing to do with you.
Back story for any of you who may be new followers of The Feisty Witch and didn’t see this information posted when I wrote Aoibheal’s Lair: I grew up in the deserts of SE Arizona, close to the Mexico border in a family as Christian and Republican as they came. Even though my parents were as conservative as they came, they also pounded into us to question everything. Often times I got confusing answers to my questions simply because I wasn’t asking people outside the familial circle. Ya know, parents, uncles, ministers, church folk we saw each week. And we tended to keep within those confines never once stepping outside of what was considered safe or proper.
I’ve been married and divorced 4 times, each time to a tried and true Republican who would no more question my Daddy’s ideas than cut their hand off. My Daddy was born into the wrong century for he was truly an 1880’s cowboy that believed only in God, family, and country. Yeah, he’d be spittin nails if he had lived to see our current President elected. But then again, he never ever voted anything other than straight Republican ticket … no matter what. I have 3 children from 2 different fathers, yes I was married to them. That’s just the way ya did things back then. These children have grown into adulthood and each of them has children of their own, giving me 7 biological grands and one grand by marriage.
Here’s the first issue. Out of 8 grands, two of them are non-binary, or if you “must” label them, they would identify as agender. Meaning they have days when they feel like a girl and other days when they feel like a boy, even more possible, no gender at all. Their gender has no bearing on how much I love them and how I will fight to my last breath to protect them. Here in NC, we have HB2, it’s called “the Bathroom Law” and the Republicans have everyone up in arms over how many wives and daughters are going to be molested in the ladies room by a transgender person. There are NO statistics or reports to back up this claim, it’s fear mongering it the finest. Every time we go out somewhere, I make sure to keep my eyes open and stay vigilant as we are walking through whatever store or restaurant we may be patronizing that day. There are crazy people out there who have no problem showing physical violence against someone just because they may look different or even simpler because they are afraid of what the politicians, preachers and uninformed have been telling them they should be afraid of. No one goes to the bathroom alone. And I WILL go to jail for beating someone over the head with whatever I can pick up if they lay hands on my child or anyone I see being assaulted. I am not playing with that.
Issue two ties into issue one: being gay or lesbian or transgender or queer is NOT a choice and it is not a lifestyle to be accepted or not accepted. Be patient here, this point also ties in with the next one. It gets very old and tiresome when someone tells you they love you but cannot accept your lifestyle choice. A lifestyle choice is smoking, or drinking or over eating or dancing all night, or sleeping all day, or robbing banks or being a career criminal, or any of millions of other things that are actually CHOICES. Sexuality and gender identity is NOT a choice. One chooses to do something, make a decision, change their life, those are choices, not who or how you live or love. A choice is walking into a nightclub, killing 50 people and wounding 53 more. A choice is targeting a race or religion for discrimination and a choice is changeable. You can choose to do something one day and the exact opposite the next. You do not choose your gender.
OK, yes, I “KNOW” you are “assigned” a gender/body at birth and that is how you are supposed to live for the rest of your days. However, there is scientific proof to dispute the validity of this “fact”. Oh wait, I forgot, facts do not matter. Did you know that suicide is the leading cause of death among Gay and Lesbian youth nationally? 30% of Gay youth attempt suicide somewhere around the age of 15. This is unacceptable!! Teen years are difficult enough with all the hormone changes and everything else they have to go through. Feeling lost or lonely because they love differently or dress differently or look differently to the point of taking their own life is just horrendous. Many LGBT teens also self-harm, they cut themselves, burn themselves, scar themselves, hurt themselves because they feel they are unworthy of being loved. One lost life or one child hurting to that degree is one too damn many!!
Here is point three: they all tie together to a degree. As most of you know and as I stated above, I was raised in a very Christian home, but did you know I was also very active in my church? Yep, from the time I was 8 years old until I walked away at the age of 45, I was in church a minimum of 3 times a week. I’ve read the bible 6 times from cover to cover and I even won awards on our bible “debate” team. Add in my duties as an officer in our youth group, active in TWO choirs, taught Sunday school to the toddlers AND was baptized both in water and in the holy spirit all done before I was 21. Cause after I divorced my first husband for physically abusing me, the pastor at that time told me I was welcome to come to “his” church, but I had to relinquish all my duties and I’d be stripped of the titles I’d earned. Cause you know, divorce back then was a HUGE no no and you couldn’t have a divorced person be active at all in church.
During my tenure in “church” I had many questions, most of which went unanswered because the standard answer was always “read your bible, you’ll find all the answers there”. Ummm, NO! You do not find answers in a book that has been proven to be a work of fiction written by fallible men who had their own agenda when whichever passage was being worked on at the time. Did you know that the most popular version if the Bible, The King James Version was authorized by a king who was a known homosexual or more likely bisexual? And that the actual word “homosexual” didn’t appear in any version of the Bible until 1946? Yeah, so how is it that “the words of God and Christ” which have been rewritten and translated more times than a person can keep count can condemn and entire group of people?? The Old Testament was written particularly to the Jews, whom God called out from all the nations to be his special people. AND most denominations today believe the Old Law was washed clean by the blood of Christ when he was crucified. The old laws do not apply unless they want to haul out Leviticus but then it’s only the passage on Sodom and Gomorrah, even though it has been proven S&G wasn’t destroyed because of homosexuality.
Yes, as I warned this has been rambling and often times difficult to follow, for that I apologize. I’m not finished. So, if I’ve bored you or you need to walk away, go ahead, I understand.
I didn’t graduate from high school, I hated school and couldn’t wait until I could get away from any and all things educational. I did manage to get a GED sometime in 1979 I think. Funny how it goes though, you never stop learning, you just stop going to a structured class setting for that continuing education. Once I moved away from AZ, my entire world changed. I didn’t know there were so many diverse peoples and cultures and I was quite intimidated by it all. See, my experience was with white Christian, heterosexuals, and that’s what I based all my opinions on. Suffice it to say, I had a LOT to learn about life and I am forever grateful to my Jimmy for challenging me, for helping me to open my eyes and for continuing to get me to look for the unexpected in everyday situations.
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to go back to school to earn a bachelor’s degree. My original motivation was I was going to go into social work so I could get a decent job here in NC. Yeah, that type of employment just wouldn’t work with me and my big mouth. So, I chose alternate health with a double minor in political science/constitutional law and business. In amongst my various classes were 4 or 5 anthropology classes that dealt with the study of various religions including the history of Christianity. Remember those questions I alluded to up there^^ somewhere? The ones I was told I’d find the answers to in my bible? I never did find the answers I sought, just more scripture written in a manner that is always open to interpretation by whoever is reading it at the time. I don’t work well with interpretations, I want facts. But within the anthropology classes and during research for the final papers I wrote for each class I DID find many factual answers. Unfortunately, most people who claim to follow the teachings of Christ don’t want to look any farther than what their pastor is teaching them every Sunday morning or what they are being told their bible is saying.
I could go on … but I’m tired of trying to explain. Those who care will understand what I’m saying. Those who have minds closed so tight it would take dynamite to open them won’t understand. And sadly it is those people who need to understand, who need to know that the things they are saying in everyday conversations hurt, deeply. Deep enough that children would rather kill themselves than to feel unloved. And those careless everyday comments add fuel to those who are already so angry with the world in general, that they often find a way to justify their actions when innocents are hurt or killed.
I remember Orlando, I hold you close. And I won’t be kept silent. I personally have too damn much at stake to turn a blind eye.