The skies were clear, the temperature just right and I was able to spend some much needed time outside last night soaking up the energy coming off that beautiful Pink Moon. And today, because of that time being able to reenergize the Feisty, the world looks so much better, clearer and less dismal to me. Yes, I know things haven’t really changed. My outlook has. I’ve been afraid of what is happening in my country and the world. I’ve been hiding so as to not cause ripples in the cosmos. I can’t do that. I have children and grandchildren who will all be affected in one way or another by the things happening.
Every morning I go to my altar, light candles and give thanks to my Deities for the blessings and challenges they will give me throughout the day. I send my intentions out to the cosmos and pray for peace, guidance, and healing for those who need it the most. At times, I’ve been known to have more than a dozen candles burning at one time, simply because I follow the directions The Goddess/Gods give to me. I’ve learned to listen before I speak, and I don’t question when Hecate or Persephone or Oya have a message.
I cannot begin to explain the peace I’ve found in simple things, working outside with my plants (I need to take them out of their containers and plant them in the ground before I end up killing them), discovering new to me things in my yard, implementing “ideas” I have while daydreaming, and now that we live close to Tanya and the Witchling, the day is not complete until she comes over here after getting off the school bus just to say Hi, Abi, I love you! The dreamshields have been my sanity, and making them individually for a specific person gives me the opportunity to weave positive energy throughout each ribbon I tie. Now that the large crafting table is once again set up I am comfortable leaving a design sitting out until I can get back to working on it.
I’m *tabling* my political activities (not really, I constantly work on them in the background, much like white noise in someone’s head) for now and I’m going to focus on my family, our home and the things that make us happy. We have so many plans, hopes and dreams for this “new to us” home and since we are in the same boat most people are, we don’t have a savings account stuffed full that we can withdraw from to make the improvements or changes.
My health is doing pretty good. I’ve been seeing a doctor for almost a year now and even though I’m frustrated I don’t have any solid answers yet, I know I’m more fortunate in my health than some of my friends are. I have my 6-month mammogram on Friday to make sure the spot they found last October hasn’t grown or changed. Since that was my very first mammogram, they doctors had nothing to compare that spot to. They said I’d need to have a repeat mammogram every 6 months for 2 years in order to be able to tell me there is nothing there.
There is still the issue with pain. My doctor is not willing to lump my issues in with the catch all of Fibromyalgia, so we try this test and that test and this remedy … I just want to feel better and not hurt every damn day all day long. Perhaps it’s just getting or maybe there really is something that can be treated. To be honest, I’ve lost confidence in my doctor, simply because I already have trust issues with the medical profession and I want answers sooner rather than later. Yes, I know that’s not realistic … I’m a Type A Personality, I know this, I accept this and I live with this every day, I want answers and I want to control.
All in all, I’m pretty happy with the way things are going. I love my life!