The Feisty FaerieWitch

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30 Days of Truth~Day 19

Today is the final post for the 30 day challenge, you are correct, I did not finish it.

What is your opinion of Organized Religion?

There is no post from 2011 to compare this to. I didn’t finish the challenge …then. That means for the rest of the challenge, I have nothing to compare to. Each new entry will be my current thoughts on the subject at hand.

And I’m not so sure you want to know my views on organized religion. I believe a person’s belief in their higher power should be a private thing, between them and that higher power. I DO NOT feel any man has the right to tell someone how or who or why to believe. I also feel that organized religion is one of the most controlling and abusive concepts on the planet and is exactly what is wrong in today’s society.

IMO, organized religion is a man made concept with the sole intent of control. According to research and scholars with more letters after their name than I have time to write, the bible is a vague translation or interpretation of some writings by mortal men, and those writings were found years after the supposed death of Jesus. It is a male translation meant to instill fear for anyone who reads it and suppression of females. I believe those who wrote the translations were either afraid of the power they knew women held and since most cultures were male dominated, those men did everything they could to prohibit a woman of having a voice in any given situation which in turn gave those specific women and the women who listened an increasing amount of power over man.

This is *my* experience with organized religion (yes, I have over 30 years of experience with a particular branch of organized religion, so I feel I am qualified to give *my* opinion on this)

Disclaimer: This post is NOT directed towards anyone. I am writing this as my PERSONAL opinion on Organized Religion/Christianity and the effects it has had on MY life. Having been raised in church since I was 8 years old (I’m 61 as of this writing), I feel I am entitled to form some of my own thoughts on the subject. IF you see yourself here, it is your own guilty conscience and paranoia speaking to you.

I was one of those people you find in church every time the doors were open…Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, Friday night for youth group, and then choir practice on which ever night it was scheduled. Church was my life. All my friends were there, and none of them went to the same high school I did, so everything I did was centered around church in some way. I was very active as a teenager, held an office in our youth group, and won a few awards for the events I took part in. Was even crowned *Sweetheart Queen* when I was 16 for raising the most money for our *Light for the Lost* missions youth banquet. I was in EVERY play and program, taught Sunday school, helped out in the nursery and the kitchen for the meals the church sponsored every Sunday night after services.

This all came to a screeching halt right before my 18th birthday. You see, I had gotten married, had a baby, and then did the unforgivable…I filed for divorce. I divorced an abusive man who took great pleasure in beating me black & blue. (He even beat me the night I went into labor, causing the premature delivery of my oldest daughter). Now, because I was divorced, I could no longer be a part of the things I had been so active in just a few months prior. I was informed by my minister that I was *welcome* to come to his church, HOWEVER, I would only be permitted to sit on the very most back pew and I wouldn’t be returning to ANY of the church activities that had been such a major part of my life.

Now, they still expected me to contribute my weekly *tithe* (monetary contribution) to the church, it was my *duty* to continue to support the minister and the work the church was doing. I said oops, NOT! and I stopped going to church. After that, I tried going back but to a different church, where I pretty much felt like an outsider.

SO, this is MY opinion and feelings about the Organized Religion/Christian church…

There is too much condemnation and hypocrisy in Christianity, too much of people who claim to be Christians, but are the first to judge you for something either truly done or just something they have perceived you have done. Too much *I love the Lord* but spit on my neighbor, too much give me your money, but I can’t help you out when you are broke and almost homeless, too much you MUST be saved or you will burn in eternal damnation…yeah, OK.

I dislike the way *most* Christians tell you in one breath how much they love their Lord, and how good a Christian they are, but then turn around and manipulate a situation so things turn out the way they want them to go. If you are a *true* Christian, it’s not for you to be the judge…that’s Gods job.

So wake up and realize that those of you who are now judging others, YOU will be the one to answer for it when you stand before God and from what I have read (and I DO remember ALOT of the scripture I learned while attending church), he can be a very vicious, vindictive God…

I could sit here and write scripture after scripture, but that’s not what this is about. It’s about my feelings and why I feel the way I do about organized religion…


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30 Days of Truth~Day 18

Your Views on Gay Marriage

When I decided I was going to do this challenge again, I said I’d try to find the entries from 2011 when I did it the first time. I found some of them, not all 30 days. I wanted to see if my feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions had changed at all.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 18~ Your Views on Gay Marriage(Original post-August 1, 2011)

I FULLY support Gay Marriage.

I do not believe that marriage is strictly between a woman and a man. It doesn’t matter your gender if you are in love with someone and want to spend your life with that person, I believe you should have the same rights and benefits as heterosexual couples. I believe LGBT couples have the same feelings as any other couple, I feel they should be able to be legally married and enjoy the celebration without fear of rejection or discrimination.

I also feel LGBT couples are entitled to any insurance benefits their spouse may be able to provide through their place of employment, and I also support the choice to have children. Whether by artificial insemination, adoption, surrogacy or any other legal means they choose.

I also support LGBT couples who face the challenge of legalities concerning medical decisions they may be required to make for their partner. How dare the government or any institution decide to prohibit a partner from either being with someone who is ill and possibly dying or from making the choices that had previously been discussed by the one who may be too ill to make those decisions at the time choices were needed. No one knows you better than the one you have loved and lived with for the majority of your life. No one else is qualified to make choices…

Marriage is not just for male/female couples any longer.

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See above …nothing has changed. Unless you count that I am even more supportive and will fight with everything I am to make sure the rights the SCOTUS declared to be law are kept in place.


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30 Days of Truth~Day 17

A Book You’ve Read That Changed Your View On Something

When I decided I was going to do this challenge again, I said I’d try to find the entries from 2011 when I did it the first time. I found some of them, not all 30 days. I wanted to see if my feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions had changed at all.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 17 ~ A Book You’ve Read That Changed Your View On Something(Original posy-July 31, 2011)

ChristoPaganism by Joyce and River Higginbotham

Most of you know I am a Witch and Jimmy is a Christian. It wasn’t always like this. When we first got together, I was just beginning to explore the Pagan Path after living all of my life in a Christian home/family. And Jimmy didn’t claim any religion as his own after growing up Catholic and leaving the church as a young man.

The Wheel turns and things evolve…Jimmy finds God and I begin to worry what this is going to do to our relationship. Most people I/we talked to told us the same thing…it can’t be done. A Christian and Pagan/Witch CANNOT live together. They are at cross points of the spectrum.

However, after reading this book, talking to Jimmy and really listening to his beliefs and how he feels his relationship with his God works and then explaining my concerns to him, helped us to find the way to keep our relationship together. Both of us firmly believe in our separate spirituality and we each encourage the other to do all that is needed in order to be the best we can be in our worship.

I was raised Christian, so I can help him with scripture, recommend books and music for him, I even go to church with him. I don’t feel threatened and actually, enjoy spending time with him as he worships.

He has spent some time with me in ritual before his path changed, so he is comfortable coming to my Circle, and can and does even participate occasionally. He knows I’m not “evil” as some have tried to convince him.

We are both open and communicate to each other about the things we feel in our spiritual lives and I know this is how we make our dual path work for us…

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So much has changed since I wrote the original post for this prompt. Jimmy no longer goes to church and has embraced his inner power. Some (4 that I know of for sure, LOL) will tell you I’ve damned him to hell for all eternity and I’m ok with that. I believe in free will, free thought and the freedom to seek whichever higher power that calls to you.

Along with the changes, there have also been SO many books that have given me a reason to pause and perhaps look at things in a different light.

Tale of the Lost Daughter by Karen Clark

This book was an epiphany for me. When I was asked to review the book before it was fully released I was at a very low place in my spiritual path. I had questions (much like when I was going to the Christian church as a child) and I was seeking, looking, searching hoping for answers to what my purpose was and how was I supposed to continue my journey. I made it to chapter 3 before I broke down in nasty crying. Heart-wrenching sobs, tears streaming uncontrollably down my face.

Yes, this is a work of fiction, and yes I’ve been ridiculed numerous times for feeling (KNOWING) this book helped to lead me to the Goddess Hecate. There are many ways to find your path, I have learned to follow the dictates of the Gods and not try to circumvent their direction, that only gets me in trouble, depresses me and makes me miserable. I had never considered myself to be a devotee of Hecate or for any other Deity for that matter. After reading this book, after hours and hours and HOURS of deep meditation and listening to Her speak to me, I began my Journey to the Dark Goddess.

I’m still seeking Her and listening to everything she says to me, sometimes it may take a hot minute for me to get the message, but I do not feel I’ve disappointed Her nor caused her to turn away from me. I’m learning, I’ll always be learning and until She has nothing else to show me, I’ll continue to follow the direction she is leading me. I know my journey isn’t the same as someone else’s might be, but it’s MY journey and as long as Hecate and the Deities she shares me with have no objections, I am content with where I am.

The Woman With the Alabaster Jar by Margaret Starbird

I am sometimes obsessed with Women’s Study. Not every person has the same idea or definition of what that consists of. I’m positive I don’t have the textbook description of how it is supposed to go. In 2008 into early 2009 while we lived in RaleighI was lucky enough to meet up with some amazing people and be part of a Pagan Bookclub that met once a month. This book was on our reading list and at first, I was hesitant to read it. I wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with a book written by a Catholic church scholar. I am SO happy I did read it.

All through my time in the Christian church, I had so many questions and never once did I feel I was given an answer that wasn’t trying to blow off my question. I always felt that there was more to the life of Jesus than just birth, live 33 years, preach and then die (yes I know I just simplified his story). Then after I completely walked away from organized religion where I was stifled and controlled even though I didn’t recognize it at the time, I was able to dig deeper into the things that had haunted me all this time.

After reading The Woman With the Alabaster Jar I felt vindicated, justified and relieved to know there were other people out there who also questioned the things they had been taught. Yes, Margaret Starbird’s questions were completely different than mine, but we both came to the same conclusion. Not only did Jesus live and preach and then die for his beliefs (as the church would have you believe) he ALSO sacrificed himself for his wife and child. Seems a little far-fetched, right? Read the book and then tell me how you feel about it.

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30 Days of Truth~Day 16

Something or Someone You Could Definitely Live Without

When I decided I was going to do this challenge again, I said I’d try to find the entries from 2011 when I did it the first time. I found some of them, not all 30 days. I wanted to see if my feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions had changed at all.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 16~ Something or Someone You Could Definitely Live Without (original post-July 30, 2011)

I could definitely live without people who have a “holier than thou” attitude and are determined that their religious beliefs are the ONLY way to believe.

You know, those people who for one reason or another have their noses buried in dogma and law that they can’t find the peace and love of their chosen religion. A perfect example is a group behind the DC40…this group actually frightens me. For some reason, the fully believe that the US is a Christian country and any other religion or faith needs to be abolished. And they aren’t just sitting quietly behind their prayers, they have begun calling themselves warriors…

SO…the one thing I can definitely live without is close minded people…

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Oh, GODs! This one has expanded and grown, there is NO WAY I can write about the many “things” or “ones” I can live without. I will give you a couple but I don’t want to bore you nor do I want to give unnecessary attention to people or things that already thrive off of attention. Let’s be vague, shall we? LOL!

Currently, there is an abundance of these types of peoples in the “Pagan” community. You know, when I left organized religion, I had hoped I would be less concerned with this type of behavior. Unfortunately, I have come to realize, holier than thou is rampant in EVERY walk of life. There are those in each community who feel their way is the only way and if you can’t or won’t live up to their standards, they have no problem letting you and everyone else know what a failure they think you are. Some have gone so far as to set up a petition to remove others from their community. Seriously? Yes, I am serious. Kinda like they want to excommunicate someone for believing differently. *sigh … at any rate, it’s pretty laughable watching these people climb up on their pedestal and then shout how righteous they are while condemning someone else. And it’s even funnier when they come tumbling down because they have been shown to be just as flawed as the ones they keep screaming about.

And, there is also an increasing number of people who are showing a great deal of lack of respect for the elders in their *community*. These people are elders for a fucking reason! They have done their time carrying crap on their backs and making steps towards progress for those who follow after. NO! I do not consider myself one of these elders, I’m not that experienced, I’m still learning and growing. And the saddest thing of all, at least to me, are the ones who are of the same generational age that are bitching about so and so not being as accepting as they are so they MUST be wrong, condemned publically and then try to turn the rest of us against someone.

Let me make something perfectly clear here. I DO NOT give a fuck how loudly you scream from your soapbox about someone not living according to your definition of Witch or Pagan or whatever path is followed. IMO, that is the quickest way to lose respect and your credibility, period. AND, if you think you are above ridicule for doing the things you are taking part in you need to check yourself. Your ignorance is showing and once that happens, it takes a fucking miracle to find credence ever again.


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30 Days of Truth~Day 15

Someone or Something You Couldn’t Live Without

When I decided I was going to do this challenge again, I said I’d try to find the entries from 2011 when I did it the first time. I found some of them, not all 30 days. I wanted to see if my feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions had changed at all.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 15 ~ Someone or Something You Couldn’t Live Without(Original post-July 29, 2011)

I’m going to answer BOTH of these…

*Someone* I couldn’t live without.

This would have to be my soul mate and husband Jimmy. When I met him, I was at a horrible place in my life, I felt like I was on a dead end street and actually hated my life, my husband and all the things I thought were the issues that were making me feel boxed in. I can honestly say I don’t know how I made it before he came into my life.

He gave me honesty, freedom, but most of all he gave me respect, without conditions. And just like so many other couples out there, we have our moments, but because we respect each other, we take the time to work through whatever problem has popped up and make sure we put it to rest.

I also have to include my children and grand girls…they have brought such joy to my life. I don’t see them all on a regular basis, I do chat with them online and by phone, but there isn’t a day that goes by that they aren’t in my thoughts and prayers.

The *Something* I couldn’t live without is more along the line of a *tee hee*…I am addicted to Starbucks Verona Blend coffee and International Delight Amaretto Creamer. My mornings are dangerous if something happens and I don’t have my coffee…LOL! But seriously, I wake up, take the puppies out, make coffee and then depending on the weather and if the mosquitoes are out in force or not, I try to sit outside and enjoy the peace of the new day as I drink my coffee. I thoroughly enjoy the solitude of the morning and right now, I’m looking forward to the beginning of fall with the cooler temps and fresh scent to the air.

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This one is another that hasn’t changed much. I still couldn’t live without Jimmy, my children and their families which included seven of the most awesomesauce grands an Abi could ask for. My only complaint is similar to many other mothers whose children live more than a few minutes away. I’m lucky in that I have Mylia and Maine, Tanya and Ravyn right here *this close*, but I’m missing Angel (she’s in Michigan, but I STILL think about her daily), and Justin, Tiffany, Alanna, Micheyla, Taya, and Cassandra (they have a very full life in Texas and I oh so wish we lived closer, but they are constantly on my mind).

I have to add my little poodle Calliope into this one. She’s my sanity, my rock and no matter what kind of day I may be having, she snuggles up next to me and all my irritation, anxiety and stress go away. However, she has more separation anxiety when I leave the house than I do, I’m going to try and get an emotional service status for her so I can take her places with me. Honestly! She doesn’t just cry or howl, she doesn’t make sad puppy noises, she actually screams. If you didn’t know it was coming from an animal you would think I was torturing some unrepentant soul in my house. And yes, this is all my fault, I have her more than spoiled, I can freely admit that LOL!

The *someTHING* I couldn’t live without is still my Verona coffee and Amaretto creamer. Last year when my doctor was trying to figure out what was making me sick and feel so bad, she demanded I remove caffeine from my diet. I refused, I don’t drink a lot (maybe one glass of wine at night *not every night*, and when we go to Tanya’s for a cookout I have one or two Mike’s Hard Lemonade), I don’t smoke and I don’t do drugs. My coffee is my only *negative* and I just flat refuse to give it up. At any rate, her concern that my *illness* was because of acid reflux was unfounded.

I have Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) in the lining of my stomach, and even though I’ve gone through the intense antibiotic treatment in 2009 (I am NOT contagious), it will always be present in my system. This is the cause of my acid reflux, not the spicy foods I tend to eat. So, there isn’t any reason for me to give up my coffee, LOL!

So, the Someone or Something You Couldn’t Live Without remains mostly the same as the original post in 2011.


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30 Days of truth~Day 14

A Hero That Has Let You Down

When I decided I was going to do this challenge again, I said I’d try to find the entries from 2011 when I did it the first time. I found some of them, not all 30 days. I wanted to see if my feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions had changed at all.

30 Days of Truth~Day 14~A Hero That Has Let You Down (original post-July 28, 2011)

This one is tough…

My Daddy has always been my hero and no matter what I did, he was always there to give me his support. I made decisions and choices in my life I know he didn’t agree with, but he never turned his back on me.

Then one day, when I had just turned 41, out of the blue, he said some things to me that hurt me more than the spankings he gave me as a child. He cut me so deep, I moved away and didn’t speak to him for a little over 4 years.

That was tough, I had always been able to go to him with any problem or issue and he would listen, and help me work things out. But now all of a sudden, I was completely on my own.

Thankfully, we were able to mend our fences before I moved away from Arizona. He passed away in 2004.

I miss you, Daddy…

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This one has no changes … my Daddy was and always will be my hero and even though he let me down, that is never going to change.